Wednesday, 1 April 2009

April 1

Went for a meal at Las Iguanas last night. Not many restaurants have such a good name, so I began to look into the characteristics of iguanas. Apparently they have excellent eyesight which helps them see through crowded areas as well as finding food. Both good qualities for a waitress to have. They use visual symbols to communicate with members of the same species. This is helpful as restaurants are noisy places. Finally, they are very good at hiding. We waited ages for our table to be cleared, just as our car parking ticket was racking up another hour in the multi-storey.

Saw a bloke in the street selling those bubble guns you fill with washing-up liquid. His sales technique was to stand there looking bored and blow bubbles around, willy-nilly. I assumed that only the stupidest people would be convinced into buying one as they walked through town. Ten seconds later I spotted a fat man in a grubby vest holding one of the bubble guns and blowing bubbles into the face of his baby son from point-blank range. I felt my assumption was justified.

Business was booming at the sandwich shop and the queue was a fair length. Immediately behind me was a very impatient old man who kept tutting and looking through the glass. Eventually the person being served emerged from the shop with his food, only to be accosted by the old fellow. "I've been queueing for 15 minutes," he said. "What are they doing in there?" I don't know what sort of answer he expected. He gave up waiting and walked off.

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