May 5

Spent the weekend with Rachel's family, as her cousin was getting married. We stopped for lunch at Tesco in Dedworth on Sunday afternoon - Rachel stayed in the car with our nephew while her sister and I went in to get food. The kids in there were mental - I saw one standing up in a trolley to reach the highest milk on the shelf, and another tried to grab my receipt as it came out of the self-service till. I won't be going back there.

We decided to go out for a meal in the evening to celebrate Rachel's mum's birthday. She picked a Chinese all-you-can-eat restaurant she had been to before, so we rang up to book a table. The person on the other end of the phone told us it had shut five years ago and re-opened to sell traditional English food. Maybe the Chinese restaurants don't age well, either.

Driving around near Ascot, we came up behind two horses being ridden in the road, side by side. The rule is that you don't drive fast when overtaking them and as it was a windy road, we couldn't get past for a good three minutes. It amazes me that this is still allowed to go on. Either side of the road were large open fields, perfect for the horses to run around in, leaving the roads clear for their proper use. Horse riders are never made to pick up the horse poo that drops in the road, but if you let your dog do that, you'd get an ASBO before you knew it. I know the horse-and-cart was the main mode of transport in this country years ago, but we've moved on since then. Fields are for horses, roads are for cars. Let's keep it that way.

There is a door at the doctors surgery labelled 'Phlebotomist'. I had never heard of the word before so looked it up when I got home - Wikipedia says a phlebotomist is 'an individual trained to draw blood.' Could be a doctor or a vampire then.

May 1

Went to the pharmacy to collect my first prescription of 'diabetes stuff' - needles, insulin, testing strips. The woman behind the counter took my name and address and went to the back of the shop to speak to a colleague. While she was gone, the postman came in with some letters for the pharmacy. As there was no-one at the counter, he looked for somewhere secure to leave the post as he had to be on his way. Having looked all round, he eventually lifted up a lightweight biro on the counter, put the post down and replaced the biro on top. That would definitely stop anyone nicking it.

It's been two weeks since I first went to the doctors, and I'm gradually getting the hang of the diabetes. I am Type 1 diabetes mellitus which means I need to inject insulin before every meal - the amount of insulin depending on how much carbohydrate is in the meal. Chocolate and pasta have loads of carbs, bread has a bit, meat pretty much none. Despite the fact that I currently test my blood sugar seven times a day and inject four times (including a background shot before bed), the diabetes is far from controlling my daily routine. In fact, it is possible to forget about it, as proved last night when I got halfway through a plate of spag bol before realising I hadn't injected. If my blood sugar levels get high, I can inject some more insulin. If they get too low, I know straight away as my hands will shake and I have the sensation of being drunk. Obviously you want to avoid getting to this point but I'm glad it's happened a couple of times already - once in church and once at home - as I can recognise the feeling instantly and know what to do. Three Dextro tablets do the trick and boost the sugar levels straight up, they have the consistency of Refreshers but taste nicer. I love stats and the book where I record my sugar levels provides endless opportunities to work out weekly averages, lowest post-breakfast reading, you name it, I can calculate it.

While I was in town, I also had to visit our new dentist to hand in some medical records. I'd never been there before and only knew the road it was on. Eventually I found what I thought was the place and walked inside. There were two people in the waiting room so I asked one of them "Is this Chichester Smiles Dentist?" He thought about it for a few seconds and then said yes, it was upstairs. I went up there and handed the woman my forms. She said it was on the other side of the road. I walked downstairs, past the man to the door. I didn't see but he was probably laughing.

April 30

Rachel and I were in court all day yesterday as she was a witness to a fight between two parents at her school last year. I sat in the public gallery while Rachel waited in the seating area downstairs. Sitting just along from me was the husband of the defendant. As the charge was being read out, he tried to turn his phone off and it went off noisily - not a great start. All the witnesses seemed to have seen something different, or were just lying through their teeth, and the magistrates ended up aquitting the defendant as the evidence was so convoluted. Rachel sat next to me at the back of the court after giving her evidence and we waited for the magistrates to return their verdict. We tried to guess whether it would be guilty or not guilty, a bit like trying to second-guess Sir Alan in the boardroom. OK, hardly like that at all. The security guard in the entrance to the court was a dead ringer for Ricky Tomlinson. Along with the Sainsbury's one who is Peter Kay in Pheonix Nights, who knows how many more TV comedian lookalikes there are in Chichester.

Went to the Post Office as Rachel needed some stamps. We decided to use the self-service hole-in-the-wall outside, which offers stamps 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I didn't think anyone went out for stamps at 2am.

There was a Filofax in House of Fraser which cost £50. I thought this was excessive, especially as it was for 2008.

April 28

Everyone's going mental about swine flu. I don't know that much about it, just that people are dying in Mexico but not the US. Apparently it could reach Britain at some point and the WHO (not the band) are close to declaring a pandemic. That's a new word to me, I might look it up later but for now I'd like to point out it has the word 'panic' hidden at either end. That sums it up really.

April 27

Walked to the Post Office in town. As I made my way to the self-service machines, a woman standing at the parcel window shouted at the top of her voice: "Is there any chance I could get some help here?!" A bemused assistant said she would be over in just a minute, to which the woman replied loudly: "Thank goodness for that, I can't stand here much longer." She was so old she probably meant it literally.

April 25

Helped a couple of friends move house yesterday. The previous occupant had been a really old woman, who had a big mirror hung on one wall in the lounge. I don't know why an old person would want to look at themselves that much, they should just have loads of photos of themselves from when they were younger. If you look old, don't bother with mirrors. Maybe the Chinese go by this rule too.

Tried to re-assemble an IKEA wardrobe in the main bedroom, with limited success. Managed to attach the sides to the base and then the lid, before deciding to try and turn the whole thing 90 degrees so it lay on its side. With one side only held in place by wood glue and the other decidedly wobbly, the descent began in precarious fashion. Where eight hands were needed, we only had four and the wardrobe began to gain excess momentum. The glue did not hold and the base came unstuck. Then the side I was holding began to bend, there was a loud cracking and most of the wardrobe fell to the floor. The next question was: "which part of the dump do we take this to, wood or non-wood?"

I've never understood the concept of 'Miss Universe'. Miss World, fair enough, but I don't know who else is taking part.

April 24

Returned to the doctors yesterday to order a repeat prescription. The man at the front of the queue said he urgently needed to make an appointment. The receptionist said there weren't any for two weeks so he said "forget it," and stormed out. Not that urgent, then.

Woke up and tested my blood sugar - a perfect 10.0 to start the day. Well, not perfect as I'm aiming for below seven. Ate two imitation Weetabix (Tesco own brand) for breakfast and set off for the diabetes clinic, where I had an appointment at 8am. We talked about Sir Steve Redgrave, who also has diabetes, and managed to win five Olympic golds. I walked home from the clinic in 15 minutes flat. Got to start somewhere.